An open letter to my future husband

Hello my dear future husband,

There’s a saying that to have someone valuable, you have to be valuable yourself. Why am I saying this? Because as much as I want to meet you right now and get to know you more, I  will wait and let go and let God do his good work in me and he will be faithful to complete it. As much as I want to treasure you right now, I first have to treasure myself. As Queen Esther waited for one year to meet the King, she also waited from birth up to that point where she was discovered as one of the potential Queen. She was trained and prepared and one day, she met the King and they fell in love. So, right now I am still Esther and still being trained and prepared to meet you. So, Let’s trust God because his ways are higher than our ways, his thoughts are higher than our thoughts, let’s be patient and trust God in everything that we do.

I have been studying very hard and making sure I do my best in every course that I do, sometimes, I get distracted because my friends are in relationships right now, either married already or engaged, or already with a family and makes me think that what is wrong with me, I too have those days that makes me think that you too have those moments.

I am also focusing on my career path so that one day, it’s not just you that is working but also me, we’ll be able to work side by side in raising our family. I am looking to find a stable job so that as I rely in you, you can also rely in me. I will do my very best that both of us will have the education and skill to be able to raise a family of our own.

Sometimes, as a woman, I also have those days that I feel inadequate, I pray to God that may he send you to me now so you can comfort me through my pain and doubts and I know that you might be thinking the same as me, but I’d like you to know that God is always there for you and he loves you, he created us in his own image, so whatever anyone says, You are beautiful! Yes, you are. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Of course, I would have said you were handsome but the word beautiful encompass both physical and inner beauty, and whats the inside is what’s most important.

How will you know its me? The love I have for you will be built with friendship and love. I pray that as we both wait and when the time comes that God chooses to put my name on your heart, and your eyes will be is open, and that we will be both ready to meet each other.

Love, your future wife.


My dearest…

Looking up as I saw your face

Wondering what its like to taste

Those moments I treasure

As we grew closer together

Full of smiles and laughter

But one day you were gone

Far away from the place

Far away from me

But I never gave up

One day for sure

We will see each other

Even if you might go away again

One day for sure

We will see each other

Now or Forever



This poem is dedicated to all those who have someone dear to them, say and show that you love them for you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Thank you to Aunt Connie C. whom I love and inspired me for this poem. RIP Aunt Connie  – Rosette




Just the way you are

I keep catching a glimpse of myself

On the windows, glass doors, mirrors

What more must I do

To make myself look worthwhile


I keep going back and forth

On the hallways and corridors

I keep putting makeup

On my face, cheeks and lips

I keep straightening my hair

Even though its almost burnt to crisp

What more must I do

To make myself look worthwhile


Aritzia, Michael Kors, Coach,

The latest trends and form fitting clothes

What more must I buy

To make myself look worthwhile


Skipping meals, eating less or eating more

It’s seems like an endless downward spiral of emotion

What more must I do to make myself worthwhile


Whatever you’ve been told

Just ignore,

Put your head up high,

Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not enough,

Even yourself, because you are worthwhile

You are wonderfully and fearfully made

Just the way you are

You are worthwhile










How to hear the voice of God

While I was in my social media website, I saw this video of people trying to call a flock of sheep to come to them but the more they called out,the more the sheep kept their distance away from the people who were calling them. Then the shepherd of the flock of sheep called out his sheep and they immediately approached the shepherd. I was amazed on how the sheep responded to the call of their master, the sheep know their masters voice and follow him.  This reminded me of the teaching that Jesus said in John 10 which is The Good Shepherd and His sheep.

14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.16 I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 

How can we hear the voice of God?

When we hear the voice of God, it is an inner voice not an external voice. His voice is spontaneous and the words that you hear uplifts you, it is a still small voice that is peaceful and teaches the truth, it encourages.

This happened to me awhile back, I was praying for my insecurities and flaws and then when I finished praying, I went back to my computer, then a thought came to me, “Read Psalm 139.” I do not know what is written on that passage and I did not read that before, I became curious and read it. I was so amazed on how God answered my prayer, he reassured me that I was unique and beautiful for He created me.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14 NIV)

The voice of the holy spirit is spontaneous and we did not initiate it, our own thoughts are planned. Sensing the voice of the holy spirit in our hearts, you will recognize the voice of the holy spirit.

How can we be more attentive and know which thoughts are not from God? 

The voice of the enemy shouts at you, will accuse, put you down, he will lie and condemn. Always ask yourself, How does that voice make you feel? Angry? Irritated? Jealous? Then it is not from God but from Satan. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. He is a master manipulator, a lier and he and will do everything that he can to distract us and weaken us, he wants us to doubt ourselves, and confuse us so that we will be away from God.

It is important to read the bible because God will always speak to you from the bible, He will encourage and guide us through the right path through his word. The devil will twist and pervert God’s word so we must always be attentive and know the truth and read the bible daily.

Therefore, we must sieve through all our thoughts and those that do not come from God but from the enemy, we must ignore and cast off. Do not entertain those destructive thoughts and isolate ourselves. For example, those who are depressed always have negative thoughts about themselves and in life. Do not entertain those thoughts that are not from God, do not isolate yourself and ask for help. Shield yourself from the attacks of the enemy, wear the Armour of God, stand your ground and reconcile with your fellow brethren every week at church so that all of you can renew your strength.





I hope dreams do come true.

This was my dream last night, as father’s day approaches, I was overwhelmingly filled with joy as I dreamed of a revelation that the holy spirit, wanted me to share to all of you. This dream has a lot of symbolism and I wrote down to be best of my ability how this vision was portrayed to me.

As I lay flat, I could see a dim light over my left side and as I continue to wake, I realize that I am covered with paper while being carried on top of a trolley in some dark unknown place. I get to a place covered with other paper materials, little bits of them lay on a circular machine like object. I stood up and saw a huge spiral machine with sharp claws, immediately it started talking, it said that I was going to be shredded because I was not whole or complete. The machine pointed at the paper on top of me, they were pictures of my life. Then I said, what do you mean whole or complete?  what are these shredded paper all over the ground? Then it dawned on me that it was I that was going to be shredded because it was dark all around, I didn’t know if the pictures of my life was complete. Then I started praying to God to remove me from my situation and help me. I waited but I was afraid of dear life. Then I started talking to the life-like machine and said, God loves you. It broke down but not to the extent that it was broken, it was still ready to shred me to bits and pieces. It kept mumbling, that it wanted to go inside the gates but they wouldn’t allow it.

I managed to get away, I saw a staircase leading downstairs and went to there, then I saw that I was in a warehouse, it was very dark and dirty. Then I walked around until one odd looking man and his friend started to approach me. They looked very shady so I put some distance between us. I started to converse with them and they seem to laugh and joke around, so I was entertained. I was beginning to like it there. Then I saw someone from afar, with white clothing, and realized thats where I am supposed to be. I started going in their direction and those two shady looking men started to persuade and entice me with various things. It was tough but then I managed to go atop of three tables, I immediately went to the middle of the table and realized it was easy to be there. I thought to myself, was I saved? thats it? No, those two shady men kept harassing me and the ones with white clothing kept saying, Come here! This way, not the easy way around!

So I managed to go to the white corner but there was a deep struggle, I was in a narrow path and I was still enticed with the worldly pleasures, and as I continue to walk, I see myself holding on steel bars just so those shady men won’t get to me. Until an invisible force like gravity was pulling me horizontally towards the darkness. I persevered and got into the white corner of the warehouse. Then as I walked I seemed to have walked in a portal wherein around me changed, its as if I walked in a gate.

Then I saw several men in a dinning table, feasting and talking to everyone around them. Then I saw one of them was eagerly conversing, more like teaching them, he was the only one that wore a white robe. Immediately I realized, I was interrupting a dinner party of Jesus. Then I bowed down and started to walk towards Him still bowing all the way to the floor. I had thoughts while I worked my way up to Him, there He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, yet he is so simple. Then I stared at his eyes as He stared back at mine. His face was the most pleasant and His eyes were the most beautiful like sparkling amethysts. Then He kissed my forehead. As I was beginning to think what should I say to Him? As I spoke, I woke up. I was praying as I awaken.

Sharing my testimony to a stranger

It was a sunny afternoon and I was just sitting in a mall lobby with a lot of couches and chairs where in you could sit and relax. I was tired of walking around and shopping my way through the stores. Originally, I just wanted to hangout with my friends but unfortunately they were all busy, so here I am trying to entertain myself while waiting for my mother to get off from work so we can go home together. I had my earphones on and drinking an iced coffee to quench my thirst. I was listening to a song for which is for our mother’s day presentation at church. Then an old lady made a gesture if she could sit next to me, and I nodded.

After listening to a few more songs, something in me, a thought just said, why don’t you talk to that elderly woman next to you and share the gospel. The next thing I know my body just moved on its own, I stopped listening to my songs and greeted the old lady. I did some small talk and asked if her coffee tasted good and that we both bought from the same store. I asked what stores she shopped on and so forth. Then I asked if she went to church, she said she hasn’t gone for 10 years now, and then that’s when I started to tell my testimony.

I talked about my family, how we didn’t use to go to church and now we are active in the church community. I talked about my life, how I used to be self-centred and a selfish person wanting to gain people’s approval of me. Then I told her how my friend invited me to church and I even said that I stayed because of the people around me and not because of God. Then something changed in me, in a few months, I felt like a new person, my identity is not surrounded by other people anymore but it is built on my faith in Jesus Christ. God is continually working on me, I am growing in love and maturity. I feel at peace with myself, with my identity rooted in God.

Then I asked her if she believed in God and in the afterlife. She said she did believe in God but its been already too long since she went to church in England. With a hint of glimmer in her eyes, she told said, “I hope there is an afterlife.” Then I assured her that God wants you back, to come to Him again because he loves you and that we have hope that there is an afterlife because Jesus died for our sins and he rose on the third day, we have hope that God will resurrect us also, all we have to do is believe in Jesus, that He is the way, the truth and the life. Then while she was about to go, I asked, “What’s your name?” She answered, “Terrence…my name is Terrence.” We exchanged names and I said, ” God bless you.”

I felt really happy that I got to share my testimony to a stranger, I did not force myself to share but I was compelled to do so. I feel happy because I was not the one glorified but the One who was glorified was Jesus Christ through my life.  I hope that when the holy spirit compels you to share your testimony, you will too!



Be the Hero of your own Life!


When I was little as 10 years old in the year 2003, I played a game called Runescape, it was the most exciting game that I stumbled upon and I played until I was around 16 years old. I remember the times where I would fish lobsters and cut wood, mine ores, bury bones to level my prayer skill and make armour to level up my character. Also going to the wilderness with a friend but then he ends up backstabbing you and taking all your things. Then after that I still played pc and online games that I would say is most familiar with all of you. The sims wherein there was even a freewill button for your sim characters as well as mounts or what we call modes of transportation in games like world of warcraft and mabinogi. I and my online friends would do quests to level up our character and become the HERO of the game. Everyone wanted to become the best of the best and gain money and have the best equipment, which is very similar to the real life when you think about it deeply. 

Nowadays many people are into the internet because our generation revolves around computers and technology. Many young and older people are playing games and some might say they might even be addicted to games. All I know is that I was once spent $300 dollars in one game only for 3 months span, I know that it is not good to lavishly use money just like that on a game but when you are really into the games, you’ll understand how I feel about how you think you have real friends in the internet but actually they are not, I also learned about different kinds of word that I did not know before and my typing and communication skills were better than my other friends, I even learned by myself how to not give away personal information on the internet, which I think many of the younger generations don’t really know how to handle so called pedophiles on the internet. With the fast growing technology, and video apps online, most young people become prey from predators. Well thats it for now for my experience on the internet. 

What Im trying to say is that games are like the real life we live in today and I think the reason why people are so into games and becoming a hero is that its easier than real life and also they, which includes me, numb and masks themselves of the true potential they can have in real life. Its mostly a mental struggle for people to get off the games and quit by themselves or when they’re parents say to do so because they feel like their life is built around the game and that real life is full of pain and struggles so they’re just going to tune in the game instead to numb their pain and struggle or that acceptance you cannot get from your classmates or a real girlfriend or boyfriend in the game. Yes we’ve all been there, don’t try to deny it!

In conclusion, Life is just another game that you are hesitating to tune into, its a hardcore-very detailed-unlimited options-super expert difficulty game wherein as I see it in a gamers point of view, a MMORPG~ A massively multiplayer online role playing game~ wherein you have only one character and you can have equipments like fashionable clothes and your career is which are you in the game? A mage, warrior, ranger etc. Also, your mode of transportation, like in World of warcraft, is a car, the only thing is there are no dragons or tiger mounts instead they are car brands like a BMW. The game is your real life wherein there is no turning back, you work hard for your money and sell/buy items to get richer or just from your career. Its a Sword art online game wherein your nerve gear is attached permanently and you cannot log out. Its a Sims game where the freewill button is ticked permanently. There are also called the after life which is another super duper exciting expansion wherein you will meet the creator of this game who is God and the expansion, well in my case my belief as a Christian, can only depend on how you played your main game which is called LIFE. ~Heaven is wherein you became the HERO of your own life. and ~Hell is wherein you chose the way you wanted to and the consequence of those choices will lead you there. The only thing is I’m not talking about games anymore, am I? Its the real deal! Become a Hero of your own life? or chose a path that is headed towards destruction for eternity.

PS. The manual and instructions can be found in the Bible.

Now go and play the game called LIFE and Be the HERO you were meant to be!

My Valentine – always and forever

Valentine’s day just passed, couples all around are celebrating their love for each other, which is of course lovely and wonderful, but what about those single people out there, don’t fret because little did you know you have an admirer or even so true love, your first love and also your valentine-always and forever. So keep on reading!

Life is beautiful, its so awesome how God created us and the earth in a short amount of time and the little details on how we have so much freedom, he gave us freewill. Though, there was always some questions I had in mind when I started going through the bible and hearing the stories in the bible. Like for example, in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were given one simple instruction, to not eat from one specific tree. I asked myself, why didn’t just God erase humanity from Adam and Eve and start over again or why did he even put that tree in the middle of the garden? The answer is that God values life and he loves us so much that he gave us freewill, he didn’t want robots in the first place. Also Love connects with freewill and that is to have a choice, a choice that Adam and Eve failed to do, they chose selfishness rather than God.

Another question that I have found an answer to is What is the meaning of Life? What is the purpose of Life? My dear friend asked me that question and I did not reply for months until I came up with an answer. I have read the book Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren and another book called Life is____. by Judah Smith and came to this conclusion. 

The bible is about a story of God’s amazing love toward man. God is love personified and we are created to be loved and love. We are the centrepiece of Gods creation and he wants us to have a relationship with Him but Adam and Eve chose selfishness rather than God. I always pondered why put the tree in the middle the garden anyway? The answer is because to love is to have free will. God wants us to love him genuinely and not force us to obey him. The theme of life is true love. We can see it all in the movies, songs on the radio and conversations. We were hardwired to love God but because of sin, we have strayed away and now we seek other forms of love like the love for fame, power, flesh and money. Sin=death but God so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. So what is the purpose of life? It is to believe in Jesus and receive Him. It is to Love, Trust, Obey, Praise & thank Him and also use our abilities for the glory of God. So that when we enter heaven, Jesus will say “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
In conclusion, God loves you so much that he died for us to save us from our sin and so we can have eternal life, Jesus made a way for us and all he wants from us is to love him back by having a relationship with Him. So what does having a relationship with Jesus like? In my understanding its just like any other bride and groom relationship. The church is his bride and Jesus is the groom. Also in another way to think about it, Jesus can be anyone to us, a teacher, a healer, a bestfriend, because He is unfathomable.